Monday, March 30, 2009
Life is like a piano melody. Everyone has his or her own one. Some are loud,fast and exciting,making others move to their beat and inspiring them. Some are slow,silent and deep,who do not easily make friends but who are loyal to them. Some make a big impression on you from the very beginning,and fade away over time. Some make no impressions at first,but soon you realize your life is incomplete without them.
In the life we live in,its easy to change the melody. After all,we must sway and improvise to make our melodies greater. And sometimes,unknowingly we pick up a few wrong notes here and there and weave it together. slowly we realize that the melody starts to sound different.Cold strange and unfamiliar,something that is not us.
One morning i woke up and looked in the mirror and realized,no,this is not what i want. i said no, i did not set out to be this. So why am i like that? should i blame those bad notes? after all they made me what i am today.
I could do that. Or i could say that this is my melody,so what i do with it is my own fault entirely. i cant blame those bad notes,i chose to accept them in my melody. so i must get them out. it will take awhile,yes,maybe months or years even,but i will be able to look myself in the mirror one day and say,this is what i want.
So this is just musings and irrelated thougths being put together to form a melody.
Disclaimer: This is not intended to provoke change in everyone,cuz they have to do that themselves.
P.S: This post has no intended targets or persons. Its just a post.
Darmuis blogged at 6:40 AM
Saturday, March 21, 2009
As my hands move across the keyboard, like ducks to water, i realize my gift is my curse.
For i am but the guardian. The one who is there, yet he is not. The one who absorbs,but does not seem to release. The person you see before you is not the person who he really is. For he has sinned so deeply that no amount of prayers can help him evade his fate.He is cursed.
The forgiving one.
Well all of that is going to change. I'm going to change. because i know what is wrong i will fix it. And i will accept the truth that swans and eagles cannot fly together,because they have different roles to play.
Fly I will. over the seas,over land, till my wings drop off. And i will help those in need. But to fall in love? Never again.
And as for you, we'll still be friends of course. the rest is in your hands.
Do you know that a horse has to stand within seconds of its birth, to force blood into its leg muscles? As a butterfly has to force blood into its wings for the same reason?
How do i make you understand? That we are travellers on the same road, not partners. That you will reach your stop, and i mine. So why is there this confusion this pain this sorrow this reluctance to part?
Why do i deny my feelings as a human being. why do i deny myself?
As the rains sweep across the parched plains,as the water runs down my throat, i realise.
I am Adnan.
Darmuis blogged at 12:35 AM
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Well last thur i went with Wanqi,Cherie,Qiurui,Jiahao,Joyce,Alex and his mysterious lady friend.:) haha well we all went swimming at Jurong Swimming Complex.
it was pretty nice,alto the weather was pretty hot.Cherie being the Queen of Butter got sunburned first. She must've set a world record in getting sunburnt lol. This was closely matched by Wanqi, Princess of Flour who started to dissolve when water touched her.
Alex and his mysterious lady friend seemed to be enjoying themselves,although she fell into deep water while we were at the wave pool. luckily we grabbed her and Alex supported her back. Isnt he sweet! Hehehe :)
i think it was pretty enjoyable. the slides were long and comfortable and you can enjoy the view of a pink or blue sky(depending on which tube you're in, whilst speeding away to the bottom towards water and perhaps certain doom. but i gotta be honest the yellow tube is designed to KILL! i mean it was so short that it was... short. It was like dropping abt 2floors in less than 1 sec. i thought my heart was gonna leave me for good. seriously that evil design should be destroyed!
then on friday night went for the Night Tour thingy. quite sleepy to be honest. sat beside Wanqi,who seems to sleep everytime the bus moves off.Lol nah she was pretty exhausted so cant blame her. so ended up conversing with thin air and that weird looking guy outside the bus that only i could see???
My fav part was the fish ports. i mean all you see is big piles(not sure if thats the right word) of fish that range in size and shape. i even got to see sharks! so cool! now i can tell ppl that i've really seen a shark besides the ones you see on TV :)
Poor Emma was so exhausted that me and Sufi and Ain were supporting her to help her walk. the poor thing was totally spent after we went to Mustafa Center so had to support her all the way thru the fish ports which were slippery. wonder if she remembers the trip at all:)
well yea it was great fun and all. just wished she was there to join us. Oh well.
Darmuis blogged at 7:00 PM
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Whoa ok ok gots lots to talk about today. i went for the Milo TRYathlon today and its was great,overall.
it began at around 5am in the morning where i woke up to get ready. it was too damn early for a Saturday:( oh well. luckily shireen aunt was kind enough to pick me up at ard 6:45am. thought that we would be late, wanqi was already reaching.
Then it began to rain.
now im sure all of you know how much i love rain(not the singer). but believe this was one time i DID NOT WANT RAIN! it was like walking in a full scale storm,raindrops were hitting the car left and right. me and my cousin were like " oh great time to head back"
thankfully the rain stopped just before we kicked off. alto the bridge was fairly packed with cars motorcycles lorries and some random ppl, we made it to Tanjong Beach at 7:40am. it was there that we have to wait for the bikes.
it was then that i thought we could'nt make it on time,cuz the bikes were like so long. but thanks alot anw uncle,could'nt have done it without you.
so we were off! honestly speaking i have no clear recollection of my swim. all i remember was running full steam into the water,and apparently i was swimming a great distance even though it was pretty short. the waves kept on striking me in the face and mouth and i just wanted it to end. i walked the last 50m(the water's pretty shallow so can walk all the way). then met up with Wanqi and started the cycle part.
during the cycle someone crashed in a horrible way. it happened like this. as i was taking a small corner, alto i was looking straight ahead from the corner of my right eye i saw one guy swerve directly into the other guy's bike path. the guy went down and skidded for quite a distance. in that same moment he also knocked a cone directly into my path less than a metre in front of me. i muttered "F@#$!" and swerved as well. i slowed and turned, as i wanted to offer help,but marshalls were alrdy running towards him. i really really hope he's alright.
after that i did the run and honestly i was on my last reserves. after which i finished! then rested for abit and went to go see the junior event. the kids were so enthusiastic! they were counting down and then they raced forward in a great blur. some fell down,thank God nothing happened to them. Saw my cousin running and finish. so that makes both of us champions!
then after that had to get the bikes back across to HarbourFront. dont ask me how me and Wanqi did it, but it was one hair raising ride!
finally i just wanna say thanks to everybody who helped me out: shireen aunt for the lift, uncle for the bikes you came in the end this i had no doubt. and cherie's dad for your helmets. and everyone else not mentioned but certainly not forgetten.
and also to Wanqi, for sticking together with me. there were times both of us wanted to give up, but we pushed on together. and after today i realise that true partners are rare to come by and she is one person i know i can totally rely on,no matter what. so this is just a simple thanks:)
Darmuis blogged at 4:07 AM
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Im so sorry. i really am. i should not have tried to help. you didnt need my assistance, you just needed my support. i should'nt have tried to force my decisions on you.
i thought what i was doing would make you happy. it would stop your tears from rolling down your cheeks. little did i know that the reverse happened. i thought that you were just stubborn to accept the truth. i was wrong. so wrong. and when you looked at me that way, after i uttered those words, my heart simply broke. and for that moment i hated myself more than anyone else for causing you hurt.
i just wanted to help. i just thought you might be happier without him in your life. the truth is, he is your life. and i grossly misunderstood.how did i not see the pain in your eyes? how i did not feel the fire in your heart? why didnt understand?
why?
why?
why?
i guess in my defence, all i can say is that i wanted to help. honestly. but after seeing the way you looked and behaved, so broken, i only want you to be happy and whole again. so i will stop advising you, or anyone else for that matter. because i am guilty of making you cry, for causing you hurt and i will always be guitly. i just wanted you to be happy,thats why i said those things.
i am so useless. i cant help you when you needed me most,instead i just caused you more pain and tears.
never again i promise. from now on you just do what makes you happy,and i promise you will have my undivided support. just dont cry again infront of me and make me feel helpless and guilty because im a part of those tears as well.
im really sorry. please forgive me. please.
Darmuis blogged at 4:14 PM
hey guys sorry sorry sorry,i didnt blog for quite awhile(abt half a month actually). so yea. here it goes.
well nw im nt really feeling too good cuz got a sore throat and flu. jus usual fatigue i guess. shud be slrite by tmr i hope. gotta get better faster so that i can make it for the triathlon on Sat. been training but not sure if its enough. oh well mind over matter i guess(hopefully)
i havent read any blogs,played games or anything mainly because im studying maths and my ITE work. sigh really got no motivation to do maths. i mean why would i need to do maths when im gonna use my ITE Cert to get to Poly? dunno lah jus wanna relax and do something that i wanna do for a change, like go to the beach or watch a movie with friends. and my friends have their own problems to settle, so yea its been kinda rough and tough for everyone ard me for this period of time.
but we gotta stick together and support each other. no one will be left behind thats a promise that i`ll keep to. i just hope that they will resolve their conflicts soon enough.
on a more positive note, at least our studies arent too badly hit. this is the final week left,so its a final push. still got to revise for MPS, havent touched it at all cuz i've been doing accounting all the way. should i give up? or press on? after all i did promise Mr Ng an A,which i know i can do if i put my mind to it.nvm i wont give up i will score!
so guys its time for the final push!!! put all diferences and problems aside, we gotta pull thru together! so heres wishing you ALL THE BEST!
PS: guys remember the movie on Mon:)
Darmuis blogged at 12:45 AM
